He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
