Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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