is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
