Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
