My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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