I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
