You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
