my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
