She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
