I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
