every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
