can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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