Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals