a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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