Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
