Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
