Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
