im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My dick has a subreddit
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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