my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
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Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
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walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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