The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize