I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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