Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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