butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just forgot I was standing up.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Randomize
