Swine flu. Run for my life!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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