So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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