i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
