well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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