Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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