Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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