It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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