Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
