Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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