Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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