do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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