Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
