the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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