They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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