It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
