brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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