I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
