dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
