I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize