how can u be prego again
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
