just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
