Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
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I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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