Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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