am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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