I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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