Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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