Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As shirtless as possible
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
