My hand turned me down
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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