we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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