didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
