This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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