How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
