I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I party with great urgency now.
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