I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
