This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
