We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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