my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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