You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if i died would you start the facebook group?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
