with your own penis?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm determined to sit on that face.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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