im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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