He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
